Uh...You Left Your Sword !?

LOL.. I have to love Hollywood. Sitting here, watching a series of various "swash & bucklers" has made me realize something I had missed.

The hero always has to go find "the" sword with which to kill the fabled monster. His own weapon will just never do..nope..we have to adventure off into unknown wilds, dark forests, or rocky mountains to find a particular weapon of legendary choice.

But one has to wonder...why are these weapons always sitting out in the elements, buried in rocks, withheld by sodden maidens, or sitting in volcanoes???? Is that, like, a sword makers creed? If you really like the weapon, be sure to put it in some strange spot in the middle of nowhere so some meandering paladine can find it later.

If I was a great weapons maker, I may want to put my wares where someone would find them easier. That's right, White Knights everywhere would be able to bid for their weapon of myth...

right here on Ebay!

:) hee hee...

The Magician's Owl

MI5 Seeking Real "Q" ???

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090418/wl_uk_afp/britainspyfilmsciencetechnologyoffbeat

Ha Ha haa..

I kid you NOT!

There is an article on Yahoo about MI5 trying to find a real technology expert with which to "Bond"-up their agents.

Is this where life imitates art?

So I wonder what this guy's code name is going to be? Q-T?

(LOL... How am I supposed to grow up and take life seriously when I read articles like this?)

The article goes on to say, "There is a really important role in providing scientific and technological advice on addressing problems agents in the field will face." Yeah, they may also face those tough situations when a good, old fashioned, cheesy cliche may come into need. I wonder if MI5 can get the rights to use the Bond theme. Each agent can be given his own Ipod with which to battle evil. Standard issue Aston Martin complete with turbo jets, push-button oil slicks, computer targeting windshield, and hidden ski racks for winter driving would be kind of obvious to the "bad guys" wouldn't it? Couldn't you just imagine the dress code! LOL Each agent is given a standard Armani tux..equipped with laser-beam, explosive watch.

Citizen meanders up to a black-tie agent....

"Hey buddy, nice watch... do you happen to have the time?"

BOOOOOMMM!!!

Agent: "Oh shit... wrong button...sorry about that pal..." (sneaks off, cover blown)

I wonder which terrorist groups will send in their resumes for the role of "Odd Job", "Blofeld", and "Goldfinger".

I think I'll send in my resume for the role of Moneypenny. :) *wink

The Magicians Owl

Your Honor...I Need A Cartoon Lawyer!

So as I'm lounging in yet another hotel for the night trying to escape the Arizona heat...I'm half watching, half reading when a commercial catches my attention, (which is the point of a commercial I suppose). ha ha..
The commercial has a big blue cartoon bulldog..almost like the one from old Warner Bros. cartoons. The background voice is droning on about a law firm and the typical ambulance chasing spiel rambles on about entitlements, time, etc..etc.. ,but my attention for the most part is still "drawn" to this cartoon bulldog. I have to say I was completely fascinated.

Here's why....if you are a serious law firm trying to reach those who need assistance with bankruptcies, accident claims, or social security filings, what audience are you trying to reach with a big, blue cartoon bulldog? What does a cartoon or a bulldog have to do with law???

Then it hits me!!! So imagine if you will a prestigious office. In walks a girl of 8 years old. She has her professional Hannah Montana jacket on with matching shoes and a mini skirt. In her hand she carries her pink, Barbie briefcase. She comes to the advertised lawyer to file her injury claim against a miserable 7 year old who has a "drinking" problem. Apparently he'd just gotten on his bike after leaving the local lemonade stand and while wobbling uncontrollably down her block he hits her little red wagon causing injury. I think she may have a strong case! LOL

As for me...I think I may have to stick to those more "mature" lawyers who don't sound like Elmer Fudd, and look for killing wabbits.

Eat your heart out Jessica Rabbit!!! LOL

The Magicians Owl

Let Me Explain...Backing UP

Have you ever tried to explain to an insurance agent what a "backing accident" means and it falls under the "bobtail" policy? One would think that a claims adjuster, who supposedly deals with policies, accidents, explanations... would understand what I was talking about. I was using English...I think..

How my day started. I was happily snuggled under the sheets, dreaming away. My cell phone rings off the bed, hits the floor with a loud CRACK...flippy part not so flippy now....damn...(memo to me, memo to me....turn off vibration mode). Grab phone, sleepily respond, "hello?" .... .... "hellooo?",.... .... ...

Open eye...... oh..haha.... turn phone around talk into the microphone end. "Hello?"

Driver: "uh..yeah...I just had a backing accident in a parking lot."

Me: "wa?" ... "How'd ya do that?"

Driver: "uh..well I was backin' up, didn't see the tractor behind me..and... the back dual caught the step."

Me: "okaaayyy... so, how bad ja hit 'im?"

Driver: "well, it bent the lower step and cracked the lowbox."

Me: "okaayyy... soooo....get the information, I'll call it in..and call ya back..what's yer cell?".....

So, I get the information and call it in to the insurance agent after grumbling to myself how this Monday is already going to go, and I begin my phone tree experience with Gretchen. After explaining a brief history she begins laughing.
??? Okay..well, even I rate the accident as avoidably stupid..yes... but it wasn't Satuday Night Live funny especially when money and tempers are involved and my temper's pilot light is now starting to get lit..
Gretchen explains that she only gets some information to pass on to the next agent. You're right..I don't think "I" could have explained the entire story to one agent. I should've have expected to break the story into 4 parts and piece it out to 8 different people, therefore efficiently prolonging resolving the claim, but also my phone experience so I can waste all my cell minutes!! It IS Monday... :( ;( >:I ggggrrrr....

After Gretchen, I wait 20 minutes for Liberty. "Hello, Liberty..here's what happened.." and on she passed me through the system to Jack. Thirty minutes later Jack says this is the wrong department (but of course Grey Poupon..it's Monday) and throws me over to Carly. Sigh...okay..now I'm up...no caffeine yet...temper now luke-warm.
"Hello Carly, my driver had a lil' backing incident this morning..what information would you like first so I can resolve this with the other driver?"

Carly: "What kind of accident is it?"

Me: "It's a minor backing incident, fender bender, will fall under bobtail coverage."

Carly: "What do you mean backing accident?"

Me: "It means my driver was backing up and bumped another tractor, cracking the step box and bending the step."

Carly: "So your driver was backing up when he hit another vehicle?"

Me: "Uh... yeah!" (my thoughts: BINGO BLONDIE... DING DING DING..YOU GOT IT!)

Carly: "How fast was he going?"

Me: "Oh..probably about 80MPH..."

Carly asks surprised: "So how did that only cause minor damage?"

Me: "DUH Carly...he was backing...meaning the tractor only does about .5 mph when in reverse"

We go through all the other routine numbers...his insurance, numbers, tractor makes, models, yaddda yadda... and Carly finely comes to the important question. "Was he hooked to a trailer?" Well see...NO because if the driver was hooked to a trailer..then the trailer would have hit the other vehicle..that's why this falls under the bobtail coverage. And of course..what is the bobtail coverage..she asked.

Ya know... I think next time I'm calling my claim into McDonald's...they are used to taking orders!

*WINK

The Magicians Owl