"I'd Like to Order".....Reply: "I Don't Care"

Welcome to Lebanon, Indiana where the food isn't that great, but the service is hilarious!

Many times I do not stop long enough to eat in restaurants. Why? Maybe it is the higher prices, the germs, the waiting which makes me loath to enter an establishment. However, the other day I took a chance for lunch, and sat down to dine.
The little restaurant in Lebanon, Indiana was a "seat yourself." A person could choose from the buffet, which had been sitting out awhile, or use the menu and hopefully achieve a more satisfying meal. But as 10 minutes passed, and no waiter or waitress came to see to what I needed, I began to get edgy. Just as I had almost given up hope, an older waitress, with frizzy dyed blond-red-bleached-brown highlights, came into view. I looked up, expectantly. She immediately began to help a table that came in 5 minutes after me. No problem really, maybe she didn't see me...in my bright yellow t-shirt.....

I waited until she finished with that table, hoping that now I can be helped, and she began to walk back to the kitchen, looked up at me and when she was almost there, pointed at me, and shouted across the floor...."BUFFET?"
To which I replied..."No, my name is Kit!" ..... Approx. 10 minutes later she grabs a menu and plops it down on the table. "Your having Coke?"she said rather forcefully. "Uh..." I replied, "may I have a Sprite instead?" (I'm not sure what they do in Indiana, but perhaps the culture there demands that the waitresses make all your choices for you.)
I perused the menu, sipped my drink and waited...a long time.. for her to come back. Finally she ran over to the table, asked if I was alright. I closed my menu, and said, "I'm ready to order," to which she..... walked away!!

Uh...

She didn't come back for about 5 minutes or so... without skipping a beat she took my order, grabbed my menu and put it back on the table. ??? "I'll just leave this with you," she said...and she ran off again.
Food finally finds its way to me, of course the broccoli is cold, the fish undercooked, and the potatoes fixed incorrectly. (Did I really expect better?) She happily leaves two varieties of bottled sauces for the fish, which, are empty. I shake the bottles, two drops find their way to the plate.

Okay...

I was ignored for most of the meal, apparently there are NO refills on sodas, and as I began to leave, I was suddenly bombarded with questions! "Would you like a to go box? Would you like another drink? Would you like dessert?" ... Who is this woman???

I laughed so hard, tears streaked my cheeks. This has to have been the worst meal and service I've experienced in the last 5 years. I gave her a tip...not a penny...a $5.00 tip.... and why? do you ask. Because the entertainment value alone was worth it!!! I paid, told the manager that my meal was..."entertaining", told him that he'd lose this business in a month in Southern California, and walked out the door still laughing. I didn't know anybody ran a business like this!!!

All I can say is .... WOW.

The Magicians Owl