Can't We Just Play 20 Questions?

The other day I was asked by a friend to fix an online credit account by phone. She had lost the password and couldn't log on any longer to pay this particular loan. The online account directed her to re-enroll in the event that she could not remember the user name or password that was originally signed up. The website kept going in circles so the 800 number was the last resort. She had all the paperwork, numbers, accounts etc. and I asked that she give me her SSN and birthdate etc so I could talk to the phone rep with intelligence. (Which, if anyone is aware, talking with intelligence was going to be a stretch for me! lol ;)

So I dial the 800 number and wait....and wait.... and...w-a-i-t.. and just when I'm about to fall asleep to the ongoing advertising on the phone a not-so-cheerful voice (sounded like the rep was going to fall asleep to the advertising too) says her name is Darlene and how could she help me. (Which is operator code for what-the-hell-do-you-whining-sub-human customers want now?)
I explained the problem, the username had been forgotten, the password is now a mystery locked in an enigma...how can I pay the bill? Darlene directs me back to the website.

?????

So....with a slightly new website address, I go back to re-enter, re-enroll, or find my friends password only to be directed through the website back to where I started from. Apparently I need the username to find the username that I can't find. And the only way I can find the username is to re-enroll which won't let me re-enroll the username I want because it already has that username connected with the account which it won't let me use, because apparently it doesn't recognize that username. My growing frustration is about a 4 now.
Back to the 800 number. An equally long wait, an equally bored rep named Irene directs me to yet another website. When I refuse to go back to the website "fun" I had been enduring she gives me to another operator at a different 800 number and proceeds to tell me that they have no account information and can't give me the very thing I need, which is the original password and username. Stop me if this makes sense to you but....why are you helping me by sending me to someone you know can't help me??
After 2 hours of absolute, Alice-in-Wonderland kind of service, advice that would make a psychologist shoot himself, and being ping-ponged back and forth..... I finally had them just wipe out the entire account and start completely over with complete new information. I wrote it down for my friend advising she was on her own if this happens again and I walked away with a frustration level of 9 for the day. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm sure running large companies is difficult. Problems seem to create problems and sometimes the solution only creates a problem somewhere down the ripple of business. BUT. Can't we make the systems a bit easier for the customer? If your rep is going to send your customer into another phone system that she knows can't help...why send them there? Sometimes I think that CEO's, Owners, Presidents..should start calling their own companies and see if they can get through the Irish knot of "customer service policies" they've set up. If they haven't thrown themselves out a window by the end of the call (or calls) then maybe they could stop playing golf and find more user friendly ways to help their customers!!!!!

I'd become Amish, but I just don't like wearing those little hats.....

The Magicians Owl