The Magicians Owl

Alternative Employment

2009-07-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

I'm looking once again to hire another employee. Yikes.... sigh...

I HATE this process almost as much as the employees hate the interview. A background check is a must and costly. Personality consideration is a factor as well as geographical location. One can do all the research one can and STILL not know if this person is going to just get the job done!

Most of my "interview" questions directed at people is done in a conversational way, simply to find out what kind of person they are, for example: lazy, dependable, honest, sleazy, ...etc. Lately, I've had to "revamp" my conversational type outline to include questions I never thought I'd ever ask of anyone. Now, it goes something like this:

Do you have kids? Do you need to be home often?
Do you smoke? Drink? Do you have any DUI's in your history?
What is your experience? How many years have you driven? Do you like driving?
Are you, in fact, a pyromaniac?
Do you have a Hazmat endorsement, Tankers/Triples/Doubles etc?
Does your record reflect any accidents within the last 10 years, auto or otherwise?
Do you often drool when you sleep?
If you have a spouse are they okay with you driving with the opposite sex?
Are you looking for a relationship? (because this strictly is a driving job not a dating service)
Is there any history of necrophilia in your family?
Can you chain a truck in ice, if so, how long does it take you usually?
If given the choice would you pee @: A. Rest Stop B. Truck Stop C. Floor of My Cab D. All of the Above
How often do you stop for meals? Does your scale make funny noises when you step on it, i.e. "help" and "get off me"?

If anyone would like to add to this list and you think I may have missed a question.. LOL, feel free to let me know!

*wink

The Magician's Owl

It's De-Nile River

2009-07-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

I believe that some people were indeed set on this earth for my and others, entertainment! For some reason..they don't see the world as others do, nor do they think the same way.

Case in point! :) heh heh.. In high school, a girl named Kelly, used to sit 3 rows over and 2 desks back behind me. Her thinking drove the geography professor to retire that year! It wasn't that she was...per say... dumb; she didn't share the same vision as the rest of us. When we learned of the Nile River, Prof. explained that it was one of few rivers that run south 2 north. Kelly just didn't get why and so she raised her hand high into the air.

"Yes," Prof. points at her.

"So, does the Nile have alot of boats on it? Is that why?" a very blonde Kelly, stares blankly.

Prof. looks at her, kind of like a deer in headlights, "what do you mean?"

"Well, I know the Egyptians were advanced, so how did they do it?" she asks politely.

Prof. furrows his grey brows, "how did they do what?" (puffs out the "wh" in what)

"You said that the river runs up? How do you get water to run uphill?" she asks incredulously.

Prof. waves his hand at the map pointing to north then south and says that "north and south" are directions. Then he points to the ceiling and says, "this is UP! The water runs downhill, (he points to the top of the map) but the water runs north!" And by the look on Kelly's face she is completely confused as the teacher is indeed pointing, ... up! LOLOLOL..By this time I'm laughing so hard I spit water through my nose, which really hurts; tears are now streaming down my face as my hand is cupped hard over my mouth to prevent an outburst of giggling. The Prof. and Kelly stare each other down, locked in academic battle. Prof. pointing at the ceiling and Kelly still believing that with enough water-vehicle traffic you can change the natural law of physics!

I just about broke a rib laughing so hard!

Skipping ahead in time to college, I encounter Debbie, my best friend's sister. Debbie was extremely sweet and extremely naive. One day the question is asked of her, "why was the blonde thrown out of the M&M factory?" Debbie thinks hard, you can practically see smoke. Shrugging her shoulders, she gives up and asks the riddle's end. "Because she kept throwing out all the W's!" (Now yes, the punny joke isn't that good..but the joke wasn't the point!)

"Well, I don't see that's funny", she says, "why did she get fired if she was just doing her job?"

Uh...

One day we handed her a piece of paper, on both sides is a question, the same question. "How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?" Normally, a person of average intelligence who has been handed this paper, looks, flips, looks...smiles slyly and nods their head. *Ha ha, right? But Debbie was not of average intelligence when it came to these things. We handed her the paper. She looks at it...flips it over. Thinks. Looks, flips, reads, then..flips again..reads. Flips again. Reads. Flips and looks at us questioningly. "I don't get it", she states.

(Of course you can imagine that most of us are literally on the floor, laughing like fools, hoping not to have an accident of the incontinent sort.)

So moving ahead we come to yesterday when my Peterbilt stuck itself on the scale and wouldn't start. The tow bill was going to be $357.00 and that was just for the guy to arrive! YEEK.. So I asked around and sure enough one person had a pull-chain! AWESOME and it was, in fact, a Volvo that pulled me off the scale. (I'm never living THAT one down..humiliations galore!) I call in to my dispatch, explained that they have to get another truck on this load, as my Pete is going straight back to the shop it JUST came from. Dispatch calls back, says that the person is 25 miles away and will be there momentarily. Ok, cool..I'll just sit here in Tumwater, WA; take a parking space and babysit the trailer until he gets here.

... ..... .......

Uh, 4 hours later! ????!?!?! I call back to dispatch, "where IS this guy? Is he personally running here or is he driving a truck?" (For those who didn't figure out, frustration tends to bring my more comedic side to life.) I'm told that goofball is only 5 miles away but he shut down and the truck hasn't moved in 3 hours.... Twelve hours later, I obtained his cell # and called it! I ask where he was (with a slight cracking in my voice, as I've waited all night for any sign of him! >:( In Ukrainian accent he says that the reason he didn't come get me, which he could have done yesterday; he has often seen the Pilot truck stop busy and was afraid he'd have no parking.

"But, you have a bobtail! You have parking because obviously you'd have the trailer's spot! Just back under the trailer and there you are!! You're picking up the trailer here and I leave to go back to Fife !!!"

He laughs merrily, "OH..goodness, I never thot of dat! But you right, next time I remember dees."

My next question to him was, "would you be interested in buying a boat?"

The Magician's Owl

Can't The Elephant Forget, Just Once???

2009-07-07T17:39:00.000-07:00

I AM AN I-D-I-O-T.

Uh..yeah..it's true.
I wish technology would come out with a brain wiping drug or scan or whatever. I would pay in the tens to thousands to have that procedure.

It all started when I was young. Girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy...boy falls in love with girl. Boy moves far away to another country, moves around alot. Girl spends 4 years of her life, alone, waiting patiently for him. Boy calls girl on her birthday out of the blue and says, "I don't wanna do this anymore." Girl is crushed almost to the point of throwing up. Then...girl finds out that boy marries another in less than 5 months afterward, and moves to yet another country.
And girl can never forget.

He is doing what he loves to do now....wrestling wild horses, playing with broncs, being wild. It is how I always think of him, "untameable". Almost killed himself a couple of times on horseback! Mostly, he doesn't have the sense God gave a goose! But he was so handsome, so kind, intelligent and humorous. It was hard to stay emotionally sober when he'd start in on one of his stories of adventure and mayhem! *wink I was first attracted to him because he was the only one that treated me immediately like a lady, unlike the others who treated me like a sex object. That smile; the evil, mischievous twinkle in his eyes would always tell me when he was up to some prank. His jokes were always tasteful, never harming or cutting, yet even if directed at you it still made you laugh.

You'd think after 12 years or so...I'd forget..forgive..let bygones be bygones. I thought that to, until I came across his pic on the internet the other day. THIS is what I get for searching...it's what I get for my damnable curiosity about things..it's why I should have my fingers tied together and my internet account withdrawn! I feel as bad now as the day my heart was torn out and stomped into oblivion....why can't I just let it go?

What am I feeling now?... Surprise for one. I've become so hard-shelled and so callous through the years. wow. I am so out-of-touch with what I feel that mostly I feel nothing. Not sure if I'm even human. I wish I could feel jealousy, joy, anger, resentment, hatred; ANYTHING would be a release of this numbing sensation and I don't even have those emotions. It's just cold. Some days I look at the things I get myself into, wondering how I ever come out alive and unscathed and even though I know I should be scared, I feel nothing. (I think this is the most I've even referred to myself.)

I just can't get him out of my heart...and listening to the song "I'll wash that man right out of my hair"... well thanks Clairol...but I could shave my head and I still don't think it'd help! ha ha..

I've been re-offered a job ice-trucking in Alaska, the final frontier state. I don't know whether Scotty should beam me up or not. I've thought the logical aspects of that through, Spock would be proud.... :)

Joking aside...perhaps I will find peace there, or maybe I should just stop looking so hard for peace of mind. Somehow, I have to find a way to set that wild horse free.

The Magician's Owl

Actors, Coffee, and Chess Pieces

2009-07-06T17:32:00.001-07:00

My nephew, (my younger brother's son), is about to turn seven. I figured it was about time to teach him how to play chess. Chess is a game of skill, intrigue, second guessing and strategy. I have tried to teach the game to adults who instantly become confused how all the pieces move, where they all go, and how to organize them into an efficient "machine" with which to capture the opponent's king. However...MY nephew ain't no dummy. Immediately he remembers the pieces, the moves, the board...and whilst I figured I had an easy game, with an equally easy win; I'm frantically covering my mistakes in about 10 minutes!!!

YIKES!

No fear people, I still won the game, (if I hadn't I'd have feigned a stroke and an emergency room visit to the local hospital with a diagnosis for early Alzheimer's!) But it won't take long for the little guy to figure out; with experience; how to avoid, protect, defend and attack me. He's to smart for his age...I'm still wondering where he gets it!??!? So of course, he wants to play chess 24 hours a day. Now I'm coming up with rare known diseases with originations in South America and Darkest Africa, to get out of playing!! Geeeesshhh..

So now he's watching me twitter away, curiosity getting the best of him, he asks who the people are who read these things and what do they do? Well, ...I told him that this person is a columnist, this person sews, this one cooks, this lady is an artist, this is a feed to a comic strip, science, news articles etc. He nods his head until I get to the actor. (We've been trying to teach him for awhile what is pretend and what is not.) A confused look comes over his face, "so, this one is pretending to be an actor?"

"No, honey," I explained, "he's a real man, he acts/pretends for a living...like, I drive truck for a living."

More confusion..."so, people pay him to pretend, which is like a lie? Why isn't it okay for me to lie too?"

At this point I'm rolling my eyes...what to say...what to say??... Uhhh... well.. you see..."well, you don't get paid to act and.....uh...he's....a professional!" :) "Acting," I said authoritatively, "is different than lying."

Silence... "How so?" he asks. (Arrgghhh...this is why I didn't breed.) "Will God be mad at him for lying?"

I haven't had enough coffee for this line of questioning. I often smirk when I think if he was ever a POW, his interrogaters will shoot themselves to get out of explaining things to him. This is when I smile politely... "Let's go play a game of chess!!" I exclaim excitedly. "Yippppeeeeeeeeee", he squeals, and off he runs to set up the board!

The actor owes me coffee!! >: ) *wink

The Magician's Owl

The Deer Hit ME!!

2009-07-01T21:09:00.000-07:00

I'm cruisin' along...minding my own business...and then....(theme to Jaws)

da dum......dddaaaa dumm... dadum
dadum dadum.. BAM!

A renegade doe hurled herself over the k-rail, straight into the side of my truck, went under the steer tire, bent the lower step, stripped the bolts, put cracks and holes through various fiberglass parts, whipped under the drives, then landed under the tandems. Eek...with 43,930 lbs. of liquid soap in the trailer....one doesn't slam on the brakes unless one wants to flip the load and make the highway smell Zestfully clean!
I know it doesn't look like much in the pictures, but this will trap me here in Washington over the 4th of July holiday. :( I wanted to be in Vegas. (Ah well...tis the life of the road.) So of course the mechanic asked me if I felt bad about hitting the deer. ??? (As if, yes, I go out of my way to hit innocent, woodland, forest creatures. That's right buddy...yesterday I went off-roading w/ my 18 wheeler through the Mount Baker-Snoqualmie Forest searching for a bear, a badger, a duck, a hunting dog, and a jack-rabbit. Call it the wildlife scavenger hunt of the century! All I could find was this lousy animal!) Well no, I don't really feel that bad because........ THE DEER HIT ME! I had to make 2 insurance claims, lose over a week's pay, talk to 14 different people, and take the bus, in a strange city, to the hotel!!! All in all, I'd say it was fair.

The next clueless wonder meanders over to the truck and asked what I had hit to cause this kind of damage. I looked him straight in the eye........gave him a sly smile.......and told him in a strained voice, "this damage was caused from running over the last guy that asked that question!"

(Here's your sign!)

*wink I'm mean...but I'm cute! Happy 4th ya'll!!!

The Magicians Owl

It Can Only Happen to Me...

2009-06-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I've blogged. Yes..I'm sorry. But so much has happened that I've been a bit..distracted.

Temporarily, I've hired an employee for extra cash on a few truck runs (mostly hazardous),and little did I know how entertaining and dangerous it would be!

It brings to mind the question, "why do men do what they do, what are they thinking before they do it???" Those kind of questions generally keep me up nights.

My employee comes to sit up front with me while I'm driving the truck. Most drivers do drive barefoot, or in socks or slippers,...anything comfortable when you're in the chair for 8-11 hours a day. So, naturally he pulls his shoes off, and naturally I commented on the unassuming little odor. Looking around he spots my aerosol can of "orange spray"air freshener and proceeds to spray his socks (with feet still in them.) I'm driving, paying attention to traffic, the corner of my eye sees him reach for his lighter. "What are you doing?" I inquire. He flicks the lighter without another word spoken and literally set his foot ablaze! In less than a microsecond his whole foot is engulfed in bright orange/yellow flame! He stomps his foot, panics and starts waving it around in the air...(that's right, fan the flames!!)

"Stop waving your foot around!!! Grab your jacket!!! SMOTHER IT! SMOTHER IT" I scream. (As if driving in downtown rush hour traffic just wasn't enough of a challenge! )

Flames out, I looked at him with eyebrow raised. "What..... is...... wrong with you???" I ask. A new smell drifts through the cab. It smells like a burnt orange tree offering administered in a boys locker room. A sheepish grin, a shrug of the shoulders, "I didn't know it'd go off like that," he says.

"What were you expecting when you doused your foot in something that says 'caution flammable', 'keep away from open flames'?? That's why you spray it in the AIR! It's an AIR freshener!"

SIGH

He begins to read the can as if the last 10 minutes didn't happen. "Hey", he says brightly, "says here it hasn't been tested on animals!" I think to myself, "Yep, that's because they didn't need to!" SIGH...

The next day brings a new pleasure to the senses. I've asked and asked that people don't pee in cups, jars, my bed...etc. This IS a male truck driver thing. It's long enough and they can use it wherever..and usually do! When I train new drivers I tell them...I will happily pull over on the side of the road, on an on-ramp, truck stop, rest area... DO NOT alleviate yourself in the truck and throw it out the window. I can't really think of anything more disgusting. Erck, yeck, blah, argh,.. However...MY employee came without a sense of listening. Oh, he can hear fine..its when the interpretation to the brain follows through...I believe there is a short somewhere in the wiring. Unbeknownst to me, he "filled" a paper cup in the bunk and was about to come up front to the cab where he was going to "throw" it out the window when he tripped over the passenger seat as I hit a huge bump in the asphalt. ... SKA-DOOSH goes a warm, fishy-smelling liquid all over the passenger floor. (I had been saying it for a week, stop it or something will happen... geez but do I hate being right all the time.)

He looks at me blankly. I'm driving, I look at him blankly. Well, now I'll have to find a way to re-do my soaked log book...I'm never wearing THOSE flip-flops ever again, ..yep the gloves can be replaced...and I wish he'd just go back to setting his socks on fire because THIS behaviour is much worse.

SIGH....and people wonder why I'm not dating him. **Thanks..but...I prefer my own species.

It has been suggested to me that I could hire a monkey to do his job...but then again...it wouldn't be as entertaining now would it?

So this morning I got up early, stretched, grabbed my weights, walked around the parking lot, got a call, "hey, are you going for coffee?". Yeah, that's a good idea, jog to the truck stop, get two large coffees and continue to walk back to my truck. Just as I stepped behind a parked trailer, WHOOSH goes a flatbedder, hauling about 20MPH through an empty truck space. It's a good thing I have fast reflexes. I yanked my foot back just as I was about to step in his path. Scared the driver, scared me, scared my partner who hollers, "SHIT, DID YOU JUST SEE THAT?" Uh...yeah..that's why I'm still breathing and standing upright. "Wow," he exclaims, "I saw that guy hauling ass and then saw you about to walk right in front of him, and I thought man this is going to go down bad." He shakes his head. And... you couldn't have blown the airhorn, or shouted at me or something?? Sigh..

I just put a Coldplay CD in the stereo to relax after today's adventures. My employee is now singing about a half-tone off key to "Green Eyes."

Is it to late to hire that monkey???

LOL
The Magician's Owl

Uh...You Left Your Sword !?

2009-04-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

LOL.. I have to love Hollywood. Sitting here, watching a series of various "swash & bucklers" has made me realize something I had missed.

The hero always has to go find "the" sword with which to kill the fabled monster. His own weapon will just never do..nope..we have to adventure off into unknown wilds, dark forests, or rocky mountains to find a particular weapon of legendary choice.

But one has to wonder...why are these weapons always sitting out in the elements, buried in rocks, withheld by sodden maidens, or sitting in volcanoes???? Is that, like, a sword makers creed? If you really like the weapon, be sure to put it in some strange spot in the middle of nowhere so some meandering paladine can find it later.

If I was a great weapons maker, I may want to put my wares where someone would find them easier. That's right, White Knights everywhere would be able to bid for their weapon of myth...

right here on Ebay!

:) hee hee...

The Magician's Owl

MI5 Seeking Real "Q" ???

2009-04-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090418/wl_uk_afp/britainspyfilmsciencetechnologyoffbeat

Ha Ha haa..

I kid you NOT!

There is an article on Yahoo about MI5 trying to find a real technology expert with which to "Bond"-up their agents.

Is this where life imitates art?

So I wonder what this guy's code name is going to be? Q-T?

(LOL... How am I supposed to grow up and take life seriously when I read articles like this?)

The article goes on to say, "There is a really important role in providing scientific and technological advice on addressing problems agents in the field will face." Yeah, they may also face those tough situations when a good, old fashioned, cheesy cliche may come into need. I wonder if MI5 can get the rights to use the Bond theme. Each agent can be given his own Ipod with which to battle evil. Standard issue Aston Martin complete with turbo jets, push-button oil slicks, computer targeting windshield, and hidden ski racks for winter driving would be kind of obvious to the "bad guys" wouldn't it? Couldn't you just imagine the dress code! LOL Each agent is given a standard Armani tux..equipped with laser-beam, explosive watch.

Citizen meanders up to a black-tie agent....

"Hey buddy, nice watch... do you happen to have the time?"

BOOOOOMMM!!!

Agent: "Oh shit... wrong button...sorry about that pal..." (sneaks off, cover blown)

I wonder which terrorist groups will send in their resumes for the role of "Odd Job", "Blofeld", and "Goldfinger".

I think I'll send in my resume for the role of Moneypenny. :) *wink

The Magicians Owl

Your Honor...I Need A Cartoon Lawyer!

2009-04-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

So as I'm lounging in yet another hotel for the night trying to escape the Arizona heat...I'm half watching, half reading when a commercial catches my attention, (which is the point of a commercial I suppose). ha ha..
The commercial has a big blue cartoon bulldog..almost like the one from old Warner Bros. cartoons. The background voice is droning on about a law firm and the typical ambulance chasing spiel rambles on about entitlements, time, etc..etc.. ,but my attention for the most part is still "drawn" to this cartoon bulldog. I have to say I was completely fascinated.

Here's why....if you are a serious law firm trying to reach those who need assistance with bankruptcies, accident claims, or social security filings, what audience are you trying to reach with a big, blue cartoon bulldog? What does a cartoon or a bulldog have to do with law???

Then it hits me!!! So imagine if you will a prestigious office. In walks a girl of 8 years old. She has her professional Hannah Montana jacket on with matching shoes and a mini skirt. In her hand she carries her pink, Barbie briefcase. She comes to the advertised lawyer to file her injury claim against a miserable 7 year old who has a "drinking" problem. Apparently he'd just gotten on his bike after leaving the local lemonade stand and while wobbling uncontrollably down her block he hits her little red wagon causing injury. I think she may have a strong case! LOL

As for me...I think I may have to stick to those more "mature" lawyers who don't sound like Elmer Fudd, and look for killing wabbits.

Eat your heart out Jessica Rabbit!!! LOL

The Magicians Owl

Let Me Explain...Backing UP

2009-04-06T22:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried to explain to an insurance agent what a "backing accident" means and it falls under the "bobtail" policy? One would think that a claims adjuster, who supposedly deals with policies, accidents, explanations... would understand what I was talking about. I was using English...I think..

How my day started. I was happily snuggled under the sheets, dreaming away. My cell phone rings off the bed, hits the floor with a loud CRACK...flippy part not so flippy now....damn...(memo to me, memo to me....turn off vibration mode). Grab phone, sleepily respond, "hello?" .... .... "hellooo?",.... .... ...

Open eye...... oh..haha.... turn phone around talk into the microphone end. "Hello?"

Driver: "uh..yeah...I just had a backing accident in a parking lot."

Me: "wa?" ... "How'd ya do that?"

Driver: "uh..well I was backin' up, didn't see the tractor behind me..and... the back dual caught the step."

Me: "okaaayyy... so, how bad ja hit 'im?"

Driver: "well, it bent the lower step and cracked the lowbox."

Me: "okaayyy... soooo....get the information, I'll call it in..and call ya back..what's yer cell?".....

So, I get the information and call it in to the insurance agent after grumbling to myself how this Monday is already going to go, and I begin my phone tree experience with Gretchen. After explaining a brief history she begins laughing.
??? Okay..well, even I rate the accident as avoidably stupid..yes... but it wasn't Satuday Night Live funny especially when money and tempers are involved and my temper's pilot light is now starting to get lit..
Gretchen explains that she only gets some information to pass on to the next agent. You're right..I don't think "I" could have explained the entire story to one agent. I should've have expected to break the story into 4 parts and piece it out to 8 different people, therefore efficiently prolonging resolving the claim, but also my phone experience so I can waste all my cell minutes!! It IS Monday... :( ;( >:I ggggrrrr....

After Gretchen, I wait 20 minutes for Liberty. "Hello, Liberty..here's what happened.." and on she passed me through the system to Jack. Thirty minutes later Jack says this is the wrong department (but of course Grey Poupon..it's Monday) and throws me over to Carly. Sigh...okay..now I'm up...no caffeine yet...temper now luke-warm.
"Hello Carly, my driver had a lil' backing incident this morning..what information would you like first so I can resolve this with the other driver?"

Carly: "What kind of accident is it?"

Me: "It's a minor backing incident, fender bender, will fall under bobtail coverage."

Carly: "What do you mean backing accident?"

Me: "It means my driver was backing up and bumped another tractor, cracking the step box and bending the step."

Carly: "So your driver was backing up when he hit another vehicle?"

Me: "Uh... yeah!" (my thoughts: BINGO BLONDIE... DING DING DING..YOU GOT IT!)

Carly: "How fast was he going?"

Me: "Oh..probably about 80MPH..."

Carly asks surprised: "So how did that only cause minor damage?"

Me: "DUH Carly...he was backing...meaning the tractor only does about .5 mph when in reverse"

We go through all the other routine numbers...his insurance, numbers, tractor makes, models, yaddda yadda... and Carly finely comes to the important question. "Was he hooked to a trailer?" Well see...NO because if the driver was hooked to a trailer..then the trailer would have hit the other vehicle..that's why this falls under the bobtail coverage. And of course..what is the bobtail coverage..she asked.

Ya know... I think next time I'm calling my claim into McDonald's...they are used to taking orders!

*WINK

The Magicians Owl

The Eye of Winter

2009-03-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Hmm... Well..what if you don't even like the eye?
I'm wondering if when I converse with others..the reason they remain unfocused around me, is my ice-blue stare? There is something frightening about ice-blue eyes. It is like you are staring at the dead, looking back at you! Eeeekkk... Creepy...in a Dawn of the Dead kinda way! I don't even like looking at them in the mirror. In the sun they turn even icier....must go along with the cold heart underneath! :)
Funny...my birthstone is also an ice blue.
Seems a strange fate sometimes, that I am always surrounded by winter in every form. Even my heritage is that of the Nordic realms.

Is there no end to winter? It would seem for me it will span the ages, to eternity and beyond.

The Magicians Owl

Ah.... Tis The Season

2008-12-28T13:22:00.001-08:00

Well sports fans...this was an incredible holiday! It started off with the typical BANG! And that my friends, would be the fabulous sound of two semi trucks going head to head....literally. I-90 westbound Schneider semi decided that he didn't like west bound traffic anymore, crossed over the median...and headed into the I 90 eastbound traffic, there to collide with another semi container truck head-on...thus closing eastbound for about 4 hours. Oh what fun..it is to ride... in a 475- horse powered sleigh... woo hooo...cowboy up!

On we slid into Ohio....where it is O- HI- O soo much fun to meet up with 5 different accidents, pile-ups, sliding cars, screaming tourists, unhappy vacationers...and dogs and cats living together.. MASS HYSTERIA. How do I keep my calm?

Beats the heck outta me.

New Year's Eve is around the bend and I'll be out there...drivin' in it. ... Yikes...

All I can ask is PLEASE people... stay in your own lane...stop cutting me off in traffic...DO NOT hit the brakes in a panic...do not accelerate... DO NOT have the cruise control on when it is wet outside (hydroplaning will make the cruise control speed up..and when you finally reach traction..VVRROOOMMMM...off ya go! *wink).. and remember that it IS a holiday which means if you plan on drinking yourself into a witless stupor..stay at home and leave the rest of us out of your festive-depressive binge..

Capisce?

For those of you not trying to kill me or yourself..have a happy holiday, and hope those New Year resolutions actually work for ya!
*wink

The Storm

2008-12-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

I am here in Texas…waiting…watching..

There is a lightning storm right above my head. It is humbling to see the sheer power of a storm of this magnitude. Bolts of white slither across the skies at remarkable speeds, and at remarkable quantities. A thunder storm in California may produce a shot of electricity here..or there… but in Texas…haha..

Everything’s bigger!

Twenty or more electric charges will hit at once…some in the sky…some on the ground…some spiking and splitting into a dozen or more shafts. There are bolts so bright it hurts the eyes. The rain will come soon, and it too is immense. I’ve seen whole parking lots fill with water in less than 5 minutes. Canals overflow in 10 minutes! Gutters instantaneously disappear unable to handle the down pour. Driving through these storms is next to impossible. One can not see out the windshield for all the water that is literally cascading like a waterfall over the glass.

WOW….what a show.

To be safe to myself and others…I’m parking it for the night. Somewhere close is the sound of some industry machine or other. It has a very strange lowly moan that reverberates into the dark. A mournful wail akin to the sound of an orca or humpback keeps sounding…and sounding…rhythmic, steady, …it is very melancholy. Its voice has put me much in the same mood.
It has me thinking why my soul is so restless. I’ve never thought of myself as a traveler, and yet I go crazy to stop for more than a week somewhere. It is not even adventure I wish for, because I have seen Adventure many times….mostly for the nightmare part of it…and I’m still left wanting. Wanting what I’m not sure…all I know is that I will wait out this storm, fascinated by its phantasmagorical lights and shadows, and then onward to meet the lonely road and run her never-ending courses…

The Magicians Owl

The Darkness Did Not Understand The Light

2008-11-30T19:24:00.000-08:00

There is a certain comfort I take in watching a burning candle. It amazes me being in a black room, how far the light of one single flame can reach.

It is a good reminder, that although the darkness seems suffocating, one has to but light a match to end the ebony chokehold.

I suppose growing up in a very loving, stable home makes seeing children in less than livable conditions, ...extremely upsetting...to say the least. This last weekend I was witness to yet another "family" being split apart because of the evil, slothfulness of its mother. She's been given time and leniency by the court to simply provide a "livable" environment for three innocent children..(and that is a very liberal definition held by most courts)...and yet she refuses to comply. The "house" has been condemned simply because of the garbage and feces that has piled up and now three children have to be separated and emotionally traumatized because of it. Strange to deal with a 9-year-old that is deathly afraid of blue toilet water....and no, I'm not joking about this, if only I could. She doesn't know what good food is unless it comes "super-sized" with a toy. Obesity is already beginning to effect her health. The depressing list goes on...

There has been so much damage to a once beautiful and vibrant child, it is hard for me to know where to start. How does one retrieve innocence lost? How does one undo such evils done to one who did not possess the maturity and emotional stability to cope? How to light this candle and help it show light....

tis a puzzle.

The Magicians Owl

The "Turkey" is Going To Make Dinner

2008-11-23T16:51:00.000-08:00

Many times in my life I've been called a "turkey", usually by my mother. I think it was meant as a derogatory adjective and I always tried to defend the poor birds reputation. Even Benjamin Franklin, one of our beloved forefathers, wanted the turkey to be our National Bird of America instead of the Bald Eagle. (This opinion can be found in a letter to his daughter January 26, 1784.)

It has been rumored that turkeys are...well.... less than bright...even to say that one will look up in a rainstorm and drown itself. I live in a place where a flock made up of 40 or more individuals visit my gardens every other month, and after some observations, well, I can tell you that next time someone calls you a "turkey"... trust me... it's NOT a compliment! Ha ha

So it is with great apprehension that Thanksgiving dinner has once again fallen to me to make for the relatives. Argh.

Not to say that I'm a bad cook...not at all. When relaxed and calm, feeling creative and energetic I can fix some wonderful things. I just don't do well under "pressure". For example...my first Thanksgiving in my first house.

I've learned some things since then, and there is always time to make new mistakes..and this is why I reminisce about the "old days."

1. No one told me that a 23 lb. bird has to thaw several days in advance of cooking. If you wait only 12 hours before cooking a bird like that you will NOT be able to get the bag of giblets out of the hard frozen carcass...no matter how much hot water you pour down the throat. You will end up with a half boiled turkey, three broken nails, many tears and scalded hands.

2. Be careful when finding creative ways to get lumps out of the gravy. One rule of cooking...always add water to powder...never the opposite or you get dumplings. In a nervous panic I had a GREAT idea! Why not take a sieve, pour the gravy through, eliminate the lumps easily and go back to cooking a bazillion other things. What I forgot when I was hurriedly pouring the gravy out is that although the sieve worked fine, no bowl underneath the sieve allows your concoction to continue down through to the sink's drain. Thus keeping the lumps and removing your gravy. Lumpy gravy = problem solved.

3. When creatively doubling parts of a recipe, remember which parts those were..highlighters work wonders! If ya'll want a GREAT recipe for a wonderful tasting pumpkin pie, take the Libby recipe on the back of the pumpkin can and double all the spices except the ginger. (Ginger is really strong so add to taste but easy....less is more.) If you are super nervous and distracted about Aunt Jackie or Grandma Marge liking your new house and your cooking, double everything and then wonder, why, in filling two pie crusts...you have enough filling to make 8. ??? Let it take you a few minutes to sink in that in doubling the spice..you doubled everything...eggs..mixture...milk...etc. and in doing so overfilled the pie crusts you had..and thus undercooked the pies into a strange, pumpkin flavored mush. Yummy.

4. Butter is NOT a substitute for cream cheese. Even though you may have purchased that fancy butter from the organic farmers market, and set it out to get soft, and then it had a similar look and consistency to cream cheese....make sure which recipe is which when making 5 at once. Fancy cheese ball dip with a beautiful cracker arrangement will taste strangely bland and guests will take on that strange characteristic of a horse eating peanut butter. (Fancy cheese balls are always better when using the right product!)

5. There is a reason they are called "Baking Powder Biscuits". When you forget to put the baking powder in the "baking powder biscuits", be ready for a bizarre, flat, pancake-like effect in the bread with an odd aftertaste.

All in all, I know my family loves me anyway..but that first Thanksgiving on my own was a disaster. Hopefully this one will be better or I'm hanging up the apron once and for all!

Happy Turky Day to Everyone!!!

The Magicians Owl

Thank Your Lucky Stars I'm Not A Surgeon!!

2008-11-15T08:51:00.000-08:00

It happened about a year or two ago, I started to notice a strange pattern.
One day of every month, in a total freaky, inescapable, bizarre, incomprehensible way... I change.

Not into something awesome such as a seductive vampire, a lone werewolf, a beautiful hawk, or an enchanting sorceress. Nope. I turn into..... a COMPLETE klutz!!!

And it's getting worse every time.

SO...yesterday was going great! And then of course I woke up to start the day.The first thing I accomplished was the loss of my wallet. Normally, I know where I place everything. I needed to take my little nephew to school as a favor..and already I couldn't find the necessary paperwork for operating a vehicle. Perfect...I guess I'll be going the speed limit then.

I get him to school, walk him to the door, chat with the teacher, go back to the car......but where are the keys?
(They would be locked...safely.. .inside the car.)
FINE.... I'll call AAA roadside...and my cell phone would be.....
(That would also be locked...safely... inside the car.)

Coat hangar anyone? An agonizing half hour later....door pops open.

Perhaps I just need caffeine, right? I stopped, grabbed a Coca-Cola, a croissant with ham and continue back home....crap didn't see the pedestrian who just sauntered across the road in front of me...crap..forgot to cap the soda.....slam the brake...

FINE....one pair of now coke-stained jeans going back into the washer when I arrive at my domicile. GGGrrrrrr.....

I need music for calm AND! I have cool tunes on the car's massive stereo system which can only be operated by the tiny remote control that came with the car. Humming along I put the remote on my lap, turn a sharp corner. But I hate the next song on the USB....but that's okay!! I have a tiny remote that.....wait a minute..

Where'd it go? AAAaahhhh...under the seat of a car that eats things more efficiently than a goat! So I dug under the seat and promptly cut my hand on something sharp.

memo to me..memo to me.... "run car into large, solid object at first chance."

Continuing home...frustrated, coke-stained, sticky, and bleeding.

Get home...hour search for missing wallet..which was under magazine on the counter...duh. Jeans in washer, hand wrapped in gauze, memo taped to forehead, keys and cell phone in drawer. Check. Okay..before sculpting perhaps I'll clean a bit and get mentally settled.

So of course while I'm doing the dishes I had to drop one, do a unique ballet pirouette-like move to try to catch it in mid-air, probably looked about as graceful as an antelope in a skirt doing the Can-can..... all to no avail. ... CRASH....
FINE....I only need one dish to eat off of anyway.

It is these kinds of days where nothing I do goes right. I haven't learned yet that to save myself, my dishes, my friends and family, and any meandering pedestrians...I should just learn to stay in bed or admit myself to a psychiatric ward with rubber walls, thereby minimizing the damage.

LOL...thank goodness its only one day!
The Magicians Owl

FINE...Dangle the Carrot

2008-11-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

Here I am, grounded again in California, for at least two weeks. Business is slow, so I guess this will have to do. Ya, ya, ya, I know... I'm going to go crazy here, I may climb the walls, hang off the ceiling with my nails... or better yet... :)

It seems interesting to me that when I walk away from certain parts of my life, those parts begin to dangle "carrots" entreating me to come back. This is soooo unfair. Recent example: I walked away from sculpture, much to the disappointment of....well,

everyone I know, apparently.

Sculptures take a LOT of time. I love detail, and to my sculptures (which are almost surrogate children, as I have none) I give all my time, love, talent, effort, and dreams. However, at some point realism sets in, and although I would love to starve to death for love of sculpture, ha ha.. there are easier ways to make money. There are only so many hours in a day, so many days in a week...and I'm only one person.

The choice: Dream?/ Survival?

So, I put the sculpture ideas and dreams on a shelf. Argus, the winged Pegasus pictured above, is or was in the process of being completed. Only about 300 more hours and then off to the bronze foundry. But again, I've had no time, so there he sits in my studio, gathering dust. My aunt sent his pictures to one of the top sculptress' in the nation...only to tell me that she was very excited over what she saw and that I have the talent to be great, and that I should be an artist. Extremely flattering..but....there's that carrot....on a stick....leading me on...

So life brought me back home for two weeks, brought me back to Argus, brought me back to dreaming, back to my studio filled with wax penguins, pegasus leaping off cliffs, elephants fighting, and mermaids wrapping their sinuous bodies around flying sharks...

What to do....what to do.....

The Magicians Owl

To Flag or Not to Flag ??

2008-11-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

Colorado.... So here I am traveling down the roads of Colorado. Not bad scenery, very steep mountains, and..some very bizarre road working techniques.

Okay..no I don't work construction or rebuild roads, so what would I know, right? But someone has to answer to some basic logic regarding this little incident.

I pull up to a line of various cars, SUV's, trucks, and campers who have suddenly slowed from 65 mph to a crawling 25 mph. The reason: a very bored little man equipped with hard hat, waving his "SLOW" sign, standing in front of a bright orange "Begin Road Work" placard. I rolled my eyes, sighed loudly, thought to myself... 'yeah..how long is this going to be'. As the parade of motorists continued I noticed something odd. There was not one road worker out there,... no shovels, no jackhammers, ...no lane closures, no cones, no k-walls, no accidents being cleaned up by highway patrol,... no asphalt layers, no backhoes.. just open road as far as the eye could see. There wasn't even one piece of equipment laying about for potential work later on.

Okay...and the flagger would be for ?????

Upon approach of the second mile, a second flagger (with same "SLOW" sign and another bright orange placard, "End Road Work") yawned slowly, as traffic picked up speed. I started to laugh. Somewhat confused I wondered why I just slowed for construction I didn't even see.

Are the highway workers now working in "stealth" and because of new Eastern techniques I just didn't see them? Was the reconstructed road actually finished, and someone forgot to tell the flaggers? Were these two just doing their jobs early so they could go home sooner?

Things that make ya go "Hmmm".

I continued to New Mexico and upon crossing their border I saw road workers hard at work. Jackhammers broke asphalt, workers dug furiously with shovels, asphalt layers and backhoes whined, and cones were set to block motorists from the damaged lane. And what was missing in this picture?

Flaggers!

LOL
The Magicians Owl

Help! I'm Accent Impaired!

2008-10-29T10:57:00.000-07:00

I think I have to blame the Bugs. Bugs Bunny to be exact. Him and all his looney friends, Pepe Le Pew/Penelope, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, all the way to Coyote and Roadrunner; they influenced me as a child! After school, I would run home to watch the last half hour of cartoon lunacy, fascinated by the ideas, the comical "set-ups". :)

At some young age, don't remember which, I began using voices to express ideas. (Corny, I know.) I think those that use "accents" to express themselves are extremely artistic. It's how we see the world, how we use "colors" to make everyday life vivid, or amusing. I don't think we see "normal". LOL How boring!

I used to work with a wonderful woman, Marianne, from England. She spoke with a cockney accent, would tell me all about her life as a girl in England, and try to talk "American", which didn't work so well! She cracked me up, but I noticed after awhile that I would easily slip into an accent as well. I couldn't help it,..it was embarrassing!! LOL It's like having multiple personalities in spanish, french, english, russian, german, "translyvanian", southern drawl, Jersey,....whatever I hear becomes part of my speech pattern! Maybe I was a parrot in a former life?

Well now I've been forced to add "red-neck" to my list! For quite awhile now I have tried desperately to hold off talking like a "cb-er". Now I'm on the cb-radio, "dets uh big ten-four", "gotta poler bar on duh side", "eeval kaneevl 'round my beck dor".... ach, somebody help me!

LOL

Perhaps my next project will be a clinic..... a clinic to try to cure the "accent" impaired!

Welcome to "Ze Cleeneek Fur Duh Accent Emparred"

*Wink

The Magicians Owl

Alfred Hitchcock Meet Nebraska

2008-10-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

In 1963 Alfred Hitchcock directed a movie, "The Birds". For those of you who have never seen this suspense flick, it involves the quiet, quaint, seaside town of Bodega Bay, CA, suddenly under siege by birds. No one knows why the fiendish fowl suddenly flocked, swooped, and attacked, but the humans were driven out... or pecked to death. (What a horrible way to go!! lol) As a girl, I loved that movie! Usually I don't like endings that don't explain the questions, but it worked for Alfred Hitchcock. The audience is left to ponder the mysteries of the avian consciousness.

Well they say that "life imitates art, art imitates life", and couldn't be more true in this case! Nebraska is a dull, flat, thank-goodness-for-books-on-audio-or-I-would-have-fallen-asleep-20 miles-back, kind of state. The drive is monotonous, the view is monotonous, (you get the boring picture)...and there would be nothing special about this state....but for the kamikaze fowl.

A month ago, I had a pigeon flock fly right down in front of my fender, one of the group straggled behind and hit my door. BAM....instant squab. Four weeks ago, I entered the Nebraska border and was only 3o miles down the road when BAM!!! ....this gray, unidentified feather-brained bird hits my windshield. Three weeks ago a starling hit the mirror. BAM...another dead feather duster. Two days ago, I see a Red Tailed Hawk aiming straight for me,...(.this isn't happening).. sure enough, I hit the brakes... no good.. BAMMMM!! and another one bites the dust. The pigeon, "gray beard", and the starling were no problem, those birds aren't that heavy, but a hawk has some weight behind it. Kamikaze bird just cracked my fender right above the steer tire. ???? What gives??

The sad part of this all is that I LOVE birds and don't want to kill any of them...well..except the chickens and turkeys...but I'm trapped in an Alfred Hitchcock flick every time I visit Nebraska.
They are out to get me!!! They keep getting bigger and bigger!!!

Next bird that'll come after me will be one of those ostriches from that farm!!!

I have definitely entered the Twilight Zone.

LOL
The Magicians Owl

"I'd Like to Order".....Reply: "I Don't Care"

2008-10-09T06:25:00.001-07:00

Welcome to Lebanon, Indiana where the food isn't that great, but the service is hilarious!

Many times I do not stop long enough to eat in restaurants. Why? Maybe it is the higher prices, the germs, the waiting which makes me loath to enter an establishment. However, the other day I took a chance for lunch, and sat down to dine.
The little restaurant in Lebanon, Indiana was a "seat yourself." A person could choose from the buffet, which had been sitting out awhile, or use the menu and hopefully achieve a more satisfying meal. But as 10 minutes passed, and no waiter or waitress came to see to what I needed, I began to get edgy. Just as I had almost given up hope, an older waitress, with frizzy dyed blond-red-bleached-brown highlights, came into view. I looked up, expectantly. She immediately began to help a table that came in 5 minutes after me. No problem really, maybe she didn't see me...in my bright yellow t-shirt.....

I waited until she finished with that table, hoping that now I can be helped, and she began to walk back to the kitchen, looked up at me and when she was almost there, pointed at me, and shouted across the floor...."BUFFET?"
To which I replied..."No, my name is Kit!" ..... Approx. 10 minutes later she grabs a menu and plops it down on the table. "Your having Coke?"she said rather forcefully. "Uh..." I replied, "may I have a Sprite instead?" (I'm not sure what they do in Indiana, but perhaps the culture there demands that the waitresses make all your choices for you.)
I perused the menu, sipped my drink and waited...a long time.. for her to come back. Finally she ran over to the table, asked if I was alright. I closed my menu, and said, "I'm ready to order," to which she..... walked away!!

Uh...

She didn't come back for about 5 minutes or so... without skipping a beat she took my order, grabbed my menu and put it back on the table. ??? "I'll just leave this with you," she said...and she ran off again.
Food finally finds its way to me, of course the broccoli is cold, the fish undercooked, and the potatoes fixed incorrectly. (Did I really expect better?) She happily leaves two varieties of bottled sauces for the fish, which, are empty. I shake the bottles, two drops find their way to the plate.

Okay...

I was ignored for most of the meal, apparently there are NO refills on sodas, and as I began to leave, I was suddenly bombarded with questions! "Would you like a to go box? Would you like another drink? Would you like dessert?" ... Who is this woman???

I laughed so hard, tears streaked my cheeks. This has to have been the worst meal and service I've experienced in the last 5 years. I gave her a tip...not a penny...a $5.00 tip.... and why? do you ask. Because the entertainment value alone was worth it!!! I paid, told the manager that my meal was..."entertaining", told him that he'd lose this business in a month in Southern California, and walked out the door still laughing. I didn't know anybody ran a business like this!!!

All I can say is .... WOW.

The Magicians Owl

Can You Stop a World War?

2008-09-16T18:16:00.000-07:00

Recently I was witness to various "team" projects and watched, fascinated, as different groups of complete strangers were called to successfully group together to work quickly, efficiently and creatively to finish certain projects. How funny! The chaos that ensued was similar to the effect of stepping on an ant nest.....watch 'em go!!!

There are certain personalities that take control immediately, certain personalities that feel overwhelmed and bow to the stronger "control-freaks", then there are the personalities that just go with the flow and neither lead, nor really follow. The control freak feels that no one is helping, but then they don't allow anyone to help. The overwhelmed cower visually, but then resent secretly, and those that march to the beat of their own drum either smooth things or just throw monkey-wrenches into an already hostile, emotionally-pumped environment.

It should seem simple, almost trivial really, that in this most "enlightened" age, people should be able to get on with each other easily. Haven't we learned yet to swallow our pride, share empathy, be tolerant, and listen?? LOL... welp, not these 16 people!

If one can not get along with one's neighbor.....how can we fathom that world peace would or could be a possibility?

The Magicians Owl

Where's the Tornado Toto?

2008-08-31T23:13:00.000-07:00

LOL....of all the places....

Yep, that's right...I'm stuck for a week in Edwardsville, Kansas. A bit hot, a bit muggy, but the people are friendly and the hotel has heard of air conditioning. People are very very friendly, down to earth, and extremely generous. I have noticed, as of late, that the further I move east in the U.S.A., the more sparse the technology and use thereof...

Here's an example:

In Phoenix, Arizona, I was hooking up my DVD player to the big TV I had in my hotel room. Strangely, for reasons even I don't quite comprehend, I like to watch movies on screens bigger than the palm of my hand. Go figure... The television was a simple Panasonic model, but plug ins for video capabilities were available! Wooo hOOO....I'm in luck... I'll settle down, watch a movie, relax from the excrutiating heat, and not think about what the repairs for the truck are costing me in lost wages, time, and frustration. Hook ups are connected, DVD player is happily playing, and I grab the remote to switch to the Auxillary/Video channel.

BUT wait!!! There is NO button for such a thing, not on the remote, not on the TV itself,..... no secret buttons on the bed,.... under the desk,.... or hidden behind the curtains. ARGH.. How do I turn the TV to the video auxillary channels???? Panic sets in.
I ring the front desk.....okay, not to be a moron, but why can't this television switch to the AUX/ Video line? The front desk doesn't know..maybe maintenance does... hold please... wait...wait...wait.. then an old man answers and hasn't a clue as to what I'm asking about. Well, scratch THAT hotel off my list. (I know what you're thinking, *what a priss*.. but I have so few creature comforts on the road, it really annoys me when I can't even play a DVD without a fight.)

So, 1,370 miles from Phoenix, the truck grinds its transmission into Goron Dust. This apparently is just not my week. Another hotel, another miserably hot day, and like the bellhop that I should have become, I drag all my things to the new hotel...which...doesn't even HAVE a TV.

Sigh..... well...I'm in luck... they at least have showers!!!!
;)

The Magicians Owl

Storms Up!

2008-08-25T17:32:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Arizona!! Well I'm stuck here for a couple of days. I've got to say that while the people are friendly, the weather certainly is not!!

The heat, humidity, and now added dust storm is a bit to much to handle! :) In little less than 5 minutes, the wind picked up, the road was covered by dust, and no rain to speak of! Bummer. However, at least the storm allows me to settle down for the night, type some emails out, and watch some TV. If anyone has seen a new movie out that's AWESOME! let me know. :) I might take in a show while the storm blows itself out.

Bad Cop, No Donut!

2008-08-10T21:42:00.001-07:00

Blind Date: REQUIREMENT? (Being Blind!!)

2008-08-05T11:05:00.000-07:00

A friend called me the other day, "Wanna go on a blind date?"... after a long pause (not really sure if I did or didn't), she asks.. "are ya there?"....

Okay, so I said "yeah" (and decided that at least I could have a decent meal and get away from the book illustrations). Night out couldn't be all bad, right?
Blind dates can be intriguing. If asked, most people would say, "I want this in a man, I want this in a woman, I hate this..." etc. Often I have found that there are many qualities I'd never have thought attractive, that someone else shows desirable. Keeping my opinions and desires flexible, has allowed me to find some very unique friends, even if they aren't potential mates.

Any blind date has requirements: meet at a mutual public place, bring your own car (you can get away faster if it goes wrong), and never give on more about yourself than they can track down later...i.e. don't drink!
Sitting at the table in the restaurant, I wait for my date..... and wait...and wait.....played with the silverware......made an origami rabbit out of my napkin.... made an igloo from the cream mini-moo's....counted the cars in the parking lot..... and then my "date" walks in.
(Punctuality IS important guys...it lets her know that you actually respect her time and trouble for dating in the first place.)

Okay..no problem..he might have been held up in traffic. We mutually shake hands, intros, sit down to order. Then he starts it. First words out of his mouth, "OMG, you are SO beautiful." I smile, thank him for the compliment...ask him what he does for a living. He interrupted me for the next sentence..."I can't believe it, you are gorgeous." Okay, I thank him again, slightly annoyed now. Next sentence, "I didn't think Casey would set me up with a dog or anything...but you are a knock out." Now I'm getting pissy. "Wow..I can't believe I haven't seen you around, you are just so beautiful," ....and the date is now officially over as far as I'm concerned. "So, IF I was a 'dog', then this date wouldn't have happened?" I asked, irritated, (wishing I was a dog). Basically the long, awkward answer that followed was "yes".
(I have nothing against a compliment of course..but the kind of compliment can really turn a girl off, especially if she holds her intellect over her beauty. )

Myself, I'm not into "looks" I'm into brain and manners. Most women can date really ugly men, ya know why? because they may possess a bravado, charm, and intellectual instinct that goes waaayyy past looks. A flattering comment isn't a bad thing, just don't make it the ONLY thing that you seem to want. A girl is not the sum of her body parts. Sometimes, there is actually a human being there looking, searching, even desperate for someone who is going to look beyond the hair, eyes, breasts, legs and butt...and find a REAL person underneath. Why is there no one that can be interested in a girl as a person, and not a 30 minute e-ride?

Are there indeed no gentlemen left?
A very disappointed owl retreats back to her perch, chastising herself for going out in the first place.

The Magicians Owl

The Clay is Making Me High...

2008-07-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

As some of you know the owl is ready for launch again! Woo hoo!! Back out and about into the wilds of the U.S. of A. again, but..... I decided, before leaving my perch, I would start yet another sculpture. Trouble is, I can't get all the sides of my personality to agree on which sculpture to start from my vast list of ideas.
So, I took some time to play with clay. This helps to unwind the mind, also good for the hands, and builds my strength for giving awesome massages!! The problem is, that the clay I work with has a strange mixed sulphur base. It has a funny smell to it that isn't all that unpleasant..but yet strangely annoying. In fact one of my friends thought that it was a perfume I was using. erckk..but okay. (Sometimes you find things like that about the people you know...you start wondering why you know them! lol) Still playing with clay I started to feel sick...maybe it's all the smoke that is still lingering in the air, in fact, some days the smoke is worse than when all the fires started in the first place! So I have the smell of a strange sulphur based odor, with thick smoke, and then an unusual smell, something cooking from the neighbor's house. Whatever he was cooking....it didn't go with the rest of the palate of odors... it was like drinking a white wine with beef.....errrcchhkk.. Upon getting sicker I figured I'd open a window. Fresher, but smoky, air has to be a bit better right? Wrong...because as the wind picks up the smell of fresh cut marigolds (flowers) wafts across my table. Did you know that fresh cut marigolds smell like cat piss?..... errrccchhkkk...
I wish I could bottle the smell right now because it would be the best weight loss diet plan a person could have. No one is hungry when you smell burnt,sulphur,bad beef cassarole, cat-piss all rolled into one nauseating fragrance. Perhaps I should get the patent....
Need a name for it... LOL

The President is in Town....Yabba, Dabba, Doooo...

2008-07-17T16:05:00.000-07:00

Well, Air Force One just landed in Redding.....actually more like a fat helicopter full of useless politicians. So what does this mean for the Shasta, Butte, Tehama, Trinity, Glenn counties? It means that 2,000 fires wiped out quite a bit of forestry land and buildings, not to mention wildlife, and has left some confused, sickened, homeless residents...and these turkeys get a look at it on the taxpayer's buck. The politicians, including Diane Feinstein and Govenor Schwarzenegger get to hug on the tarmac, make kissy noises, and shake hands. Who are they shaking hands with?? ... most of our area law enforcement who should be out in the city making sure crime is in check, traffic is moving smoothly. What a perfect time to rob a bank...there isn't anyone around to care.
Amazing to watch the entourage. All that money in trucks, vans, planes, cargo planes, fuel, military, secret service, secretaries, press people, etc. etc.. not to mention that traffic is backed up, the airport is shut down, and now there will be nothing to watch on tv for the next 24 hours as we have to hash, hash, and rehash the "event." Doesn't the President have an exclusive residence in Virginia known as the White House?? Doesn't he have access to satellite photos, video, email ??? He has to spend a million dollars to come out here, have a look-see, and back up traffic?
LOL... and our local news report.... "Let's listen as Air Force One takes off"... what.. never heard a plane take off before? WOW... what awesome news reporting! Extremely exciting as our news team describes the landing gear being retracted. Pulitzer prize material there! Of course our local BLONDE newswoman said that Air Force One is a very, very, very big plane. Really....it is a "Very, Very, Very big plane"....not just.... very? Someone give the blonde a brain...please.

Do I mean to be so cynical and sarcastic? Not really. It is just tiring to see that every major disaster only invites politicians to advance their career by looking like they care, they spend taxpayer money to come to the "event'' and have fun with big dinner fund raisers in their tuxedos. If the government wasn't so busy mismanaging funds in the first place, then we as a nation wouldn't have problems paying firefighters, police, teachers...etc.

May we have no more disasters, simply to ease government spending to go see the disasters.

The Magicians Owl

Mankind's Kindness Can Be Cruel

2008-07-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

People never cease to amaze and astonish me! Sometimes that can be a gratifying feeling especially if one thinks of all the wonderful discoveries and inventions that have come about in just a few short years. Somehow though, through all the "evolutionary" developements mankind has made, .....the stupidity gene is still being passed down with some regularity.

The other day I saw a woman carrying a small Doxie into the Home Depot. (Doxie in this case being a Dachshund, not a harem slave girl or a concubine.) The dog was dressed in a little suit, with a tie, and little shoes. It was only about 102 F that day, so dressing a dog in a suit seemed the perfect thing to do! I shook my head wondering how the panting dog felt until I turn around and saw a lady with a small Chihuahua in her shopping cart. The Chihuahua was dressed in sunglasses, a dress, and a little bonnet. Did anyone tell these people that dogs already come with fur coats???? When the women reached the check out, the one woman recognized the other and ... "OH how CUTE he looks, OHHH, how darling!!!" yadda yadda. Conversation continues like two schoolgirls over the high school quarterback until the Doxie lady sticks the Doxie into the Chihuahua's face. A fight breaks out between the two dogs, of course, because dogs are dogs, not babies in suits and dresses with bonnets. So Doxie lady grabs the Doxie and smacks it in the face, hard. I just had to roll my eyes and think how cruel. One, it's cruel to completely deny a creature's nature and turn it into a toy, but two, set up a situation you know is going to get a reaction then slap it upside the head for being what it is! On miniature dogs, one can seriously hurt them slapping them upside the head like that, plus....it won't learn anything. Your emotional reaction doesn't mean anything to the dog that is defending its space from another strange dog. It seems to me, that people need the obedience school and the training,.. not the dog!

Please spare animals from being emotional surrogates! No one would appreciate it if I walked up to you and started treating you like, say, a monkey, or a bird. You'd want to be treated like a human being, because you are one right? So try to respect an animal for what it is! It will be better for your pet...and better for you!

The Magicians Owl

Genius at the Wheel

2008-07-08T08:54:00.000-07:00

LOL.... my Aunt sent me these pictures and I just had to share! The story goes that the driver had only been in the USA a couple of months. This is near Billings, Montana. The driver missed his turn and decided to make a new road for himself. He didn't realize that there were rails at the top of the hill (wouldn't have mattered anyway, he still would have beached the trailer.) You can see where the trailer pinched the drives and practically pulled the fifth wheel assembly out. According to the owner of the truck, the driver must have been going at least 55 mph to climb the steep grade in the ice covered grass.

There are some great drivers out there, people who take the road seriously and can be considered professional. LOL But then you have to realize, there are those who haven't a clue like this guy!!! Makes you feel better knowing that just anyone can get a license to drive a 40 ton vehicle down the road!

The Magicians Owl

Happy B-Day America!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-04T17:53:00.000-07:00

So to all who are reading this.. HAPPY 4TH of JULY !!!!!!!!!!!

I just got in to my hotel room in Arcata, CA (that's on the coast). I'm fleeing the smoke so I can actually see the fireworks! WOW is the ocean beautiful, the weather is outstanding, and I had forgotten what blue sky actually looked like!!! :)

Can't wait to be on the water when the fireworks begin!!!

I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th celebration!

The Magicians Owl

Can't We Just Play 20 Questions?

2008-06-29T08:27:00.000-07:00

The other day I was asked by a friend to fix an online credit account by phone. She had lost the password and couldn't log on any longer to pay this particular loan. The online account directed her to re-enroll in the event that she could not remember the user name or password that was originally signed up. The website kept going in circles so the 800 number was the last resort. She had all the paperwork, numbers, accounts etc. and I asked that she give me her SSN and birthdate etc so I could talk to the phone rep with intelligence. (Which, if anyone is aware, talking with intelligence was going to be a stretch for me! lol ;)

So I dial the 800 number and wait....and wait.... and...w-a-i-t.. and just when I'm about to fall asleep to the ongoing advertising on the phone a not-so-cheerful voice (sounded like the rep was going to fall asleep to the advertising too) says her name is Darlene and how could she help me. (Which is operator code for what-the-hell-do-you-whining-sub-human customers want now?)
I explained the problem, the username had been forgotten, the password is now a mystery locked in an enigma...how can I pay the bill? Darlene directs me back to the website.

?????

So....with a slightly new website address, I go back to re-enter, re-enroll, or find my friends password only to be directed through the website back to where I started from. Apparently I need the username to find the username that I can't find. And the only way I can find the username is to re-enroll which won't let me re-enroll the username I want because it already has that username connected with the account which it won't let me use, because apparently it doesn't recognize that username. My growing frustration is about a 4 now.
Back to the 800 number. An equally long wait, an equally bored rep named Irene directs me to yet another website. When I refuse to go back to the website "fun" I had been enduring she gives me to another operator at a different 800 number and proceeds to tell me that they have no account information and can't give me the very thing I need, which is the original password and username. Stop me if this makes sense to you but....why are you helping me by sending me to someone you know can't help me??
After 2 hours of absolute, Alice-in-Wonderland kind of service, advice that would make a psychologist shoot himself, and being ping-ponged back and forth..... I finally had them just wipe out the entire account and start completely over with complete new information. I wrote it down for my friend advising she was on her own if this happens again and I walked away with a frustration level of 9 for the day. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm sure running large companies is difficult. Problems seem to create problems and sometimes the solution only creates a problem somewhere down the ripple of business. BUT. Can't we make the systems a bit easier for the customer? If your rep is going to send your customer into another phone system that she knows can't help...why send them there? Sometimes I think that CEO's, Owners, Presidents..should start calling their own companies and see if they can get through the Irish knot of "customer service policies" they've set up. If they haven't thrown themselves out a window by the end of the call (or calls) then maybe they could stop playing golf and find more user friendly ways to help their customers!!!!!

I'd become Amish, but I just don't like wearing those little hats.....

The Magicians Owl

I See Blue People!

2008-06-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

LOL... I have to admit that I'm becoming a little paranoid that natural disasters are following me! A day after I left North Dakota a tornado touched down, two days after leaving Indiana it flooded, (22 counties in all), and Mississippians worried about the overflowing Mississippi River coming their way. Now that I'm back to Northern California fires are springing jubilantly everywhere, thanks in part to last weeks thunder and lightning show. So far 4,000 acres have burned in Trinity County, 2000 acres in Butte, over 130 fires with only 18 contained in Shasta County and I'm smack dab in the middle of it all. (Cough... Cough.... ah... cough..) smell that... (cough cough).. pine scented.. (hack)... air.

The air conditioner is still broken but finally "super-air-conditioner" man got here to fix it. As he went about the house checking air ducts for leakage, he shook his head, pointing out all the leaks in the work that some "idiot" had done before him. When he asked who had done this, I replied, "you did years ago, remember?" OOooohhhh yeeeaaahhhhh..... Hopefully the "idiot" can give me a discount.

I think the best thing I've heard so far though is the news people reporting in on the local fires. I was illustrating my book, mildy paying attention when I heard the TV newswoman: ..." with thousands of acres burning, some people that have been holding their breath for hours may finally find relief." LOLOL What????
So now I know where the famous Las Vegas show "Blue Man Group" find their people.. they are here in Northern California holding their breaths against all the smoke!!!
LOL I can always trust the local news for unwitting comedy...

The Magicians Owl

To Many Feathers in the Fire! :)

2008-06-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

Yikes. Okay, as most of you know I've been grounded back to California. Ergh, although glad to be home with all the memories, it is miserably hot and the air conditioner just broke. Not that I'm complaining because weather will be weather..however.. I JUST MISSED THE TORNADO IN NORTH DAKOTA!!!!!!! BUMMER!... I've been chasing storms all over the country and now that I gave up...poof, I missed one by a day. Argggghh.... LOLOL ah well, "c'est la vie".

BUT, the good news (as there is always an up-side :) ) is that I can continue the plethora of projects I have going. A winged horse sits ready for wax casting, a rockhopper penguin waits for a finished wax cast to be mailed for bronzing and a book begs to be illustrated!! Of course the most complex computer program I've ever seen awaits to be further studied and investigated, the eight books I just bought need to be read and I just wish, beg, borrow, or want to steal more hours for the day.

It has recently come to my attention why I never did drugs. (I never needed to!) My brain is to distraught now to even consider adding yet another psychotic element! (As an artist I keep a diary of sorts of ideas.) This book is filled with a little over 240! Everything from carvings, sculptures, drawings, book ideas, stories, inventions.. all get logged from my whirring brain to this poor little catalog of potential art. Mostly the problem is..my brain can't stop running! Isn't there a pill for this kinda thing? Someone suggested exercise will detain much of that energy and help one sleep. Okay..well I work out all the time now and it just seems to give me more energy!!
LOL If anyone has a cure for curiosity..let him speak now or forever hold his peace! ;)

I'm an Adult I can DO what I WANT!

2008-05-30T00:36:00.000-07:00

People should learn not to say stupid things around me, because they know later, it will come back to haunt them! :)

An acquaintance of mine recently wanted his way about things. I forget exactly what ridiculous argument had ensued, except that it ended with his statement: "I'm an adult I can do what I want." It got me to thinking... >:) Can he in fact live with his own rule? I asked him if he was in fact a god, if only his rules applied to him or do his rules apply to everyone? He didn't know what that meant. Just then another driver cut him off in traffic. He cussed and screamed at the man through the windshield. (The windshield was definitely intimidated by such a brutal verbal assault.) I couldn't help the maniacal smile that spread across my face (hee hee..) "Well," I said offhandedly, "maybe he's an adult and can do what HE wants." :) Of course, that got a rise out of the young man. Then of course, I began to chew my gum, loudly naturally, and then to pop bubble after bubble, after annoyingly loud bubble. It took nearly 15 minutes until he screamed, "STOP THAT!!!!" I looked around innocently, "what?...... I'm an adult I can do what I want, and besides I'm older than you are, so I can do MORE of what I want than you can!" (It really bites when your idiotic statement has to apply across the board, huh?)
A similiar incident happened just the other day. I was with a friend and his son (who is only seven years old) and sometimes it's hard to tell which one is seven. As my friend is distracted, the young man proceeds to start playing with dials and switches which he's not suppose to touch. Then the youngster found the light switch and as I was trying to research some things the strobe of iridescent lights on..light off, lights on,.light off, light on strobe was starting to fry my nerves. "Please stop," I asked the lad. The lights, air conditioner anything with a switch continued to be played with nonstop. GGGrrrrr.... I went up front to tell my friend his kid was harrassing me with the equipment and he whipped around and screamed, "HE'S JUST BEING A KID!"
" ..... okay.... " ,I thought. Is this what parents have come to? In my day, my father would have threatened to break my fingers if I so much as LOOKED at a switch again!! not to mention I would have had to follow up with a sincere apology to the adult I had annoyed! Well...this young man should thank his lucky stars that he can do anything he wants and his parent will excuse it with a colloquialism. I guess then a murderer is just venting frustration, a rapist is just finding a date, and my bad behaviour can be chalked up to "just being an artist." LOL

Ironic that the simple statement, "I'm an adult, I can do what I want" implies such immaturity and childishness in the very expression. If one is going to make excuses for one's bad behaviour and reckless abandon of responsibility, please use a better sounding proclamation. If your going to excuse your children's bad behaviour with "he's just being a kid", don't be suprised if that teenager he grows into is the one tagging cars and stealing stereos systems as you excuse it with..."he's just being a teenager."
I caution those that make their own set of rules to live by. Make sure you can live with them to! ;)

It's HIS Fault!

2008-05-15T17:20:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine introduced me to his girlfriend awhile ago. A young, twenty-something-year-old, blonde flopped down next to me and proceeded to tell me her life story. Often fascinated where people come from and where they are going, I listened quietly to her woes. She's had a hard life already but to make matters worse she throws out the phrase, "he makes my whole world, I don't know what I'd do without him,... he makes me so happy."

And what do I think? You who know me already know what I'm thinking.... YIKES!

There is a danger when you make someone else responsible for your emotional state. (Women seem to do this more than men.) This young woman is going to lose her man very quickly. I give it about 5 months tops.

So why, what is the problem with her being happy with a new relationship?

The problem is emotional responsibility. It is a very different mindset to say to yourself or someone else... "I'm happy when I'm with him" vs. "He makes me happy". In the first sentence, you are a complete person already and don't need someone to make or break your emotion. You find happiness in the relationship but are not dependant on him as the entire source. In the latter sentence, he is soley responsible when you are upset, happy, moody, ecstatic, sad...etc.

As predicted, months later she is unhappy because time and attention from her beau are not what it started out to be in the beginning. A vicious circle now ensues. She is unhappy, calls him constantly to whine, moan, belate her state of unhappiness. In her mind, HE now is responsible to "fix" this state by doing or saying something to make her happy again. Of course, there is nothing he can do because tomorrow the problem will exist again. Over time, the relationship dissolves bitterly. She blames him for not "making" her jubilant, she puts herself in a constant state of being depressed, perturbed, anxious, angry which perpetuates stress taken out on everyone. He feels "trapped" into a relationship which there is always a problem that never seems to be able to be solved. Men tend to be "problem-solvers". They strive to find solutions to live generally stress free lives. They like when the people around them are stress free. Right now, the relationship is in its death throes. He doesn't really want to talk to her, she can only call with constant back biting comments and a constant anger directed at him.

Solution: Fellow females, we need to be more supportive of people. Life can be light-hearted, happy, stable when we want it to be. First, we need to be complete people in ourselves. One can not depend on others for happiness or fulfillment. These are things we need to have before we get into a relationship. I can't tell you how many times I've seen my friends destroy what could have been a great relationship, except for the fact that she depended on him to make her a complete person. My suggestion is to find your own hobbies, your own friends, your own likes or dislikes. You don't have to love football because he does. You don't have to make all his friends yours. Be two separate people who take joy in being with each other on a mature, respectful level. You'll find that it may take some work to overcome that natural destructive instinct, but if you are pleasant, you'll find that life becomes a joy to live!!! :)

The Magicians Owl

The Beauty of the Beast

2008-05-04T18:34:00.000-07:00

Beauty is a beast, terrible and real
A predator stalking her every meal
The seas of grass hide her face
Her muscles work with liquid grace
A heart of thunder beats within
Wicked fangs 'neath a wicked grin
A flash of orange, light o' white
Talons of death, gripping tight
All is sudden, then all is still
She walks away with treasured kill

Back to shadows, darkness, trees
For now the beauty is appeased.

The Magicians Owl

Wanted to Get There, Coulda, Shouldnta, Didnta

2008-04-25T18:02:00.000-07:00

To My Traveling Friends on the Road.....what a nightmare today has been. Going through North Dakota was fine,...and then... dum da dum duuummmm... we arrive through Minnesota. I know, I know.. it's suppose to be spring time. You guys out there in California, Nevada, Arizona, Florida, it is nice and beautiful, nature is popping out in extravagant colors and birds are in song. However, you guys in the Northern states need to WAKE UP!
I94 was going smooth (save for the 8,952 potholes, bumps, road injuries) and then I come across the ice storm. With the ice storm brings cars, trucks, minivans, and semi-trucks in the ditches, the medians, and the lakes.
In less than 20 minutes I counted 4 cars spun out in the center median, 5 cars, 1 pickup with trailer backwards on the side of the road, 2 semi-trucks jackknifed in the center median (you guys know better!), and one car who flipped himself into the canal 8 feet from the shoulder.
One, I hope everyone is okay. Two, I saw how you were driving and ditching your vehicles was inevitable. SO...let's establish some rules for the road to make it a safer, "funner" place to be!

1. When ice is present, DO NOT slam on the brake! Your vehicle will try to immediately stop but with no force of traction. You will feel a G force or two as the world whirls around in circles, and no, there is no contest with reward to see how many times your vehicle can spin 360 degrees on the freeway. Although a nice, uniformed man may give you a long yellow ticket chronicling your little escapade.
2. When ice is present, DO NOT stomp the accelerator! Physically the front of your vehicle will want to go straight. Murphy's Law says that the back of your vehicle (being incited by the roar of an engine), will want to race the front of your vehicle for the finish line! Most of the time...the back of the vehicle wins, sending the front, backwards.... science is weird huh? LOL Again, a weary and now somewhat irriated state worker wearing a now slightly soaked uniform, will whip out his growing ticket list and write you an official statement that you can show to your friends ....and a judge!
3. When ice is present, DO NOT make sudden lane changes! Why do people make more sudden lane changes when the conditions are worse? Alright everyone, although your job is frustrating, although your friends and family are getting on your last nerve, ... a snowstorm is NOT the place for vehicular suicide! Think of the people you are freaking out when you leave only an inch and a half between your bumper and the bumper in front of you. Stop it..you're freaking your car out! Two, your dog is waiting at home to be fed, he's counting on you to make it!
Be safe out there everyone!!! Be patient so you won't BE a patient!!
The Magicians Owl

Evil Parrots!!!

2008-04-14T02:42:00.000-07:00

This is Mitie Mike. He's a military macaw and I was trying to draw his portrait. What a BRAT! Not only would he not hold still but then he bit me. He dipped his beak in my ink pot and stripped the plastic off my pen!! Some thanks I get for making him look good in ink! hee hee...
Most parrots talk somewhat well but the best "talker" is the African Grey parrot. A friend of mine has a beautiful specimen which says things like: "I can talk can you fly?", and mimics everything from children playing, phone rings, and even the microwave beep, with perfect accuracy. My friend says she doesn't answer the phone anymore because she's never sure if it's the bird or a caller. The parrot can even "throw" his voice which is a talent I haven't been able to learn yet.
Personally I have a Citron Crested Cockatoo which is extremely destructive. He has the most innocent look on his face when he's at his worst. A few years ago he learned how to escape his cage, (bugger) and while I slept, he proceeded to destroy the vacuum cleaner. In one night he managed to eat through the hose, bite through the electrical cord, ripped off the rubber stripping on the front, took apart all the peripherals, and basically shredded the rubber grip handle. In the morning I walked into my living room to see a cute, white bird immediately drop the rubber bit he was chewing on and exclaim "Good morning, I love you!"
LOL Of course I'd have vacuumed the mess up but for the fact that it was the vacuum that was in a thousand pieces all over the carpet. Sigh,.... anyone want a parrot? :)

Thanks to Oregon!

2008-04-06T13:52:00.000-07:00

:) The Owl is back in flight once again!!! I know I know..I've been MIA recently. Whew..has it been a great couple of months! I somehow managed to catch a great respiratory flu in North Dakota, which I'm still fighting after 4 weeks. In Idaho I think I ended up with food poisoning which landed me in an Oregon hospital. Funny how these things work out however, because as some of you know, I believe that even bad days can be good days in disguise.
I never tire of learning about other peoples lives and jobs. What does everyone else go through on a daily basis? Gotta say..I'm impressed with those who give their lives to emergency room work. What a thankless job that can be, not to mention the pressure, the stress, even the mystery of trying to find something wrong with a complete stranger whose medical history is sketchy at best. :) In Oregon though, I found nurses and doctors who showed such wonderful kindess and patience for all they cared for. The sick can be extremely hostile. One older gentleman, who I felt bad for, was obviously feeling wretched and wasn't really cooperating...and yet all his care givers were still so understanding and did their best to satisfy his needs.
Thank you to all those receptionists, nurses, care givers, doctors, lab guys, and clean up crews that keep hospitals running!!! You are all AWESOME people. I know many times you are unappreciated and probably rarely thanked for all you put up with from us sickies :) but know that you do a wonderful service and the world is a better place because of all you do!

TY The Magicians Owl

Anonymous Gamblers?!

2008-02-12T22:56:00.000-08:00

My friend recently became hooked with gambling. I mean “hooked” because like any drug, be it physical pill, smoke, or injection, or emotional high, some people should never start because they can never stop! Any casino we pass, my friend MUST stop in, just to see the exotic interior decorating scheme….yeah..that’s it…and while we’re there … maybe there is a machine or two that needs money. Funny thing, I didn’t realize that Harrah’s, Cactus Pete‘s, and Mandalay Bay were in need of such funds from someone who can barely make their monthly phone or truck payment. I advised my friend that indeed such generosity was touching, but maybe there are better charitable institutions that could do well with the money. Perhaps putting money into a bank account could help their children go to college, or buy a new home, or put into a 401K for a leisurely retirement.
If you don’t currently gamble…my advice.. DO NOT START!
Okay gang, I know at first it looks exciting..all those pretty lights, all those faces who are winning and yelling (might be drunk too). Yes, there may be in fact 5 ways to win, but there are also 19,875,625 ways to lose! And yes, the dealers may be very kind to you, but they make tips from your winnings, and keep those tips when you end up at the table with nothing more than your socks. The bouncers are not so nice as they peel your fingers from off the edge of the table, pick up your struggling body as you are screaming: “just one more spin…just one more roll…I know this time!”, and hurl you out of the casino like a football.
My friend at first was very laid back about losing money. A shrug of the shoulders and a quick smile, we’d walk out. Now however as the months of addiction have begun to take hold, I started to get tapped for money. In time, the cool façade began to fall away as a, “please let me borrow a couple of dollars,” turned into a more needy, “I just need a five or a ten.” Uh-oh I thought. I started to become aware that giving more money to someone who promised desperately to return it, would be like me giving alcohol to an alcoholic. It really isn’t fair to them, because you are enabling them to hurt themselves. I care about my friend and advised that no more money could be had from me, to gamble with. I think my friends age dropped from 36 to 10, as I was suddenly confronted with pouting, rage, anger, apologies, promises, and then a sudden indifference to our friendship. Geesh. This over a denied two dollars!
I fear for people who will only learn when reaching rock bottom. If you know someone who is addicted..to anything,.. try to get them help, but also try not to be an enabler to their addictions either. The key is to stay calm, rational, and remember that it isn’t always you they are upset with. Addicted people are frustrated with themselves, their lives, their inability to focus on something better and failure, whether realized consciously or not is very depressing. Love your friends, and remember that even “tough” love may help them in the end!!

Fruitcakes, not just for Christmas

2008-02-03T19:43:00.000-08:00

I used to think that fruitcake only showed up during Christmas from those relatives that live a thousand miles away from you (hopefully) and, having a lack of gift giving imagination, send you a dried, non-edible, permanently preserved lump of brown-gooed stuff. Always usefully cool when you need a doorstop. However, I'm extending the definition today to include crazy people at the grocery store.
Okay...to be fair I already hate shopping. I usually know specifically what I want and just want to grab it, pay for it, walk to my vehicle and leave. Arrgghhh, but then....dum dum da dummmmm.... we have to wait ... in..... line. No problem until...you get the fruitcake in front of you that has to pay for everything, one item at a time. Yesterday, this happened to me, an unwitting victim. I had 3 things to purchase, went to the 20 items or less line. This line is a con....set up to make you think that you, the conservative shopper can get in and out of the store easily. A woman in front of me, saw I only had 3 items and continued to cut in front of me with about....45 items. She explains that she indeed has 20 items or less..only in 5 different trips, and will pay seperately for each group of items. The register jams, the clerk looks about as interested as a cow in steaks, and there I stand....3 items away from freedom!!!!
Then the rude shopper starts to tell me how annoyed she is that she has to wait. MMmm hmm.. I know exactly HOW that can be. LOL.... The only thing to think here is WOW.
Patience is a virtue, it is one to practice at all times in many different kinds of situations!!! Forgive people for whatever nutty thing they do because sometimes, they don't realize that they are the fruitcake stopping the door from letting you pass!! :)

Here's to all those fruitcakes, may you all have good days and go quickly through those shopping lines!

The Magicians Owl